Some say its the new 20.
I say 40 is 40. It’s just a number.
I never understood why people wouldn’t divulge how old they were.
My grandmother used to say a woman should never reveal her age. I say a woman should own her age.
If your 20. Own it .
If your 36. Own it.
If your 40 . Own it.
You get the point.
So here we are today. And today I’m 40 and a few days.
You may think wow she’s 40. I thought she was older.
Or maybe you thought wow she’s 40. I thought she was younger.
Maybe you thought nothing at all . Maybe you did.
The point is.
Age. It does not affect me . Honestly. 40 does not upset me for me .. For vanity purposes.
It’s really just a number.
It’s not so much my age or what it means for me , because aside from the actual year I was born.
I feel young.
Younger than 40.
No specific age really.
Just younger than 40.
I can remenber my fathers 40th birthday clearly. I was 10.
I was his baby , his little girl. I was sitting on his lap and my mom was teasing him about his age how he’s an old man now, how he was 40. I remember going to the bathroom and crying because I thought it meant he was getting so old he was going to die. I know morbid. But I was 10.
40 sounded so old at the time.
Not so much.
However I will tell you it bothers me for the sheer reason that when I age another year my parents age another year.
My children age another year.
Such a bittersweet feeling. To want to stop time and keep my babies just where they are and yet being exciting about them having life experiences of their own.
My daughter my baby, is going to kindergarten this year. My first baby is entering his last year of elementary school and my middle guy he’s now going to be in his fourth year of boy scouts ! Let me tell you .
These 5 years felt like 6 months.
Well.. Truth be told some of the days felt very hard and very long but the years..
Well.. the years…. They felt light, and they went fast.
No more diapers or nights spent nursing my babies to sleep, no more crawling or babies learning to walk. There’s backpacks to pack and play dates to go on, teams to be a part of and independent friendships to make.
A new chapter.
Another part of our story is unfolding.. and each day new memories are being made.
I am such a sap for nostalgia and sentimental to a fault some days, so beare with me as this next line or two may sound so sweet it may hurt your cavities…
My birthday was shared with those I adore more than ..
Well anything in this world ..
Even coffee 😉
In a place I love.. with laughter around me and the sun hitting my face.
My heart was overflowing with love as I looked in the eyes of my beautiful children, smiled at the handsome face I adore, and laughed with some of my best friends sharing the day with me .. And I was over come with gratitude..
Like really overcome… my eyes started to fill with tears..
I squeezed the hand of the man I love, snuggled into my children and at that moment I saw the waiter walk over to me with a cake and a candle and I listened to my friends and family sing happy birthday to me…
Just as I was about to close my eyes and make a wish,
I heard the handsome young server say ..
Happy birthday .
And just like that.. it felt like the moment was frozen, like in the wonder years.. when something catastrophic happened the scene was frozen for a second…
Yup. Just like that.
So … I looked up.
Opened my eyes and mouthed the words ..
He just called me “MAM “..
And that’s when he squeezed my hand right back and said it’s ok love, he was just being polite..
Just make a wish ..
I said but J…he called me .. :: I stammered a second or two here :::
he called me…
He smiled at me and said Michele .. Make a wish please.
But J.. He called me MAM.
Michele the candle is burning down , please love make a wish ..
So I closed my eyes and I made a wish ..
To never be called “MAM” again.
Well I made a two part wish ..
To never ever be called MAM again,
that was just the first part..
The second that’s a secret ..
A wish between me and the universe.
And then I remembered a quote I had read just yesterday while we were antiquing.. and in my heart I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be.
Thank you to everyone who sent and called and texted such sweet birthday wishes to me. I truly am so thankful for each and very one of you!
~ This time every year we shut down for a bit, turn off our phones, disconnect from social media, and focus on some good old fashioned fun and togetherness. We will soak in as much as we can for the rest of the summer, continue to write our story in a place we love and make new memories~
We will be closed for vacation until Tuesday September 3rd. We will return all emails and phone calls after that date. Please have a safe and happy rest of your summer !!!
See you in September!!